


Kinda An Awkward Conversation

by Xyliandra



Series: Basically Everyone is Queer [4]
Category: Free!
Genre: Coming Out, Genderfluid, Genderfluid Character, M/M, Trans Character, gender non-conformance, supportive boyfriend, trans themes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-10
Updated: 2014-08-10
Packaged: 2018-02-12 13:59:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2112600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xyliandra/pseuds/Xyliandra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Coming out is never easy. Media would have you believe coming out is a dramatic, one time thing, but odds are you'll be coming out for the rest of your life. And Nagisa is not looking forward to coming out again.<br/>-----<br/>Sequel to <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/1760517">Amorphous</a></p>
            </blockquote>





	Kinda An Awkward Conversation

**Author's Note:**

> I tried very hard to be sensitive and accurate in my characterizations. A good friend, who is gender fluid, offered a lot of insight, but of course every person addresses things differently. If you feel I could have handled something better, I would love to talk about it!

Rin was the first to know.

Well. Besides Rei of course, but boyfriends don’t count.

It surprised him only a little. Rin was always perceptive. Yeah, Makoto was too, but you could convince him of anything if you smiled while you said it. Case in point: Pangea.

Rin was much better at peeling back the mask. Probably because he still wore his own some days. He saw it sometimes when Rin came to practice. Maybe Rei did too; he notices everything. So logic dictates that Rin could see those things too.

But logic had always been Rei’s thing.

So when Rin approached him after practice one day, he certainly hadn’t been expecting what followed.

“I know something’s up,” Rin declared without precedent, arms crossed against his chest. “I’m gonna assume Speedo Glasses finally confessed, because he’s be a hell of lot less tense lately. But I know there’s something beyond hiding your love and shit. Which I really don’t get, because it’s not like the rest of us are in any position to throw stones.”

It was around then Rei returned from the shower.

“Nagisa, I’ve finished. If you would like I can…” He trailed off when he saw Rin looming over Nagisa, who was fidgeting with the hem of his jacket. “What are you doing Rin?” he asked with ice in his voice, stalking over as if to put himself between the pair.

“Calm down Ryugazki. I ain’t gonna hurt your boyfriend or steal him away or whatever theory you’ve got in your head.” Nagisa saw the way Rei tensed up at the word ‘boyfriend’. He was positive Rin did too.

“Rei,” Nagisa started, voice soft and small. “It’s okay. Really. I’m okay.”

Rei’s eyes screamed ‘I don’t believe you’, but he just nodded slowly.

“I see.” He looked between the two boys, eyes narrowing slightly at Rin. “Be that as it may, I must insist that you shower now or you will not have enough time before…” Rei trailed off, glancing quickly at the door. Rin’s eyes followed his gaze and cocked an eyebrow.

“You worried about Haru and Makoto? I can keep em busy,” he offered with a shrug. “It wouldn’t take much. But I ain’t doin’ it so you can get to doin’ it in the locker room.” The rate at which Rei’s face went red could be the basis for a new mathematical formula for speed.

“We will be doing no such thing!” Rei cried in embarrassment, flailing in his panic.

“I know.” Rin looked pointedly at Nagisa, locking gazes with him. “Which is why you aren’t getting out of this. I expect you to come clean soon. Don’t make me weasel it out of Speedo Glasses over here.” Nagisa nodded slowly, breaking the gaze to stare at the floor. Rin stretched his arms above his head and tried to crack his back. “So how much time ya need anyway? To do whatever you got to do?”

“Seven minutes and forty-three seconds,” Rei stated before Nagisa has the chance to respond, now standing beside the shorter swimmer.

“Ten minutes it is then.” Rin gave one last glance over to the other two, smiling slightly at the way Rei was tenderly collecting Nagisa’s clothing. “Should I knock or something before we come in?” Rei blushed again, much fainter this time.

“I’ll be fine,” Nagisa assured quietly.

“Suit yourself.”

Rin turned to walk out the door. As his hand gripped the handle, he heard a small ‘thanks’ come from behind him. He waved a hand in acknowledgement and left the locker room.

“Is everything alright Rin? I thought…” Makoto’s voice drifted in as the door swung shut. When it was quiet again, Rei kissed the top of Nagisa’ head. Nagisa wrapped his arms around Rei’s middle and pressed his face into Rei’s chest.

“You really do need to get in the shower,” Rei murmured into his hair.

“Don’t wanna leave you,” came the muffled reply. He tugged at Rei’s shirt. “Come with me.” Rei planted more kisses into Nagisa’s hair.

“I already showered.”

“We should have showered at the same time.” Rei laughed silently, but Nagisa felt it ripple through him.

“It’s not proper for us to shower together.” Rei squeezed him gently before breaking the embrace.

“That’s your hang up, not mine,” Nagisa retorted with a pout. Rei ran a hand through the blonde hair, as if trying to smooth it down.

“Call me old fashioned.”

Nagisa rolled his eyes. “Nothing about this is remotely old fashioned.”

“Even so, you need a shower.” Nagisa tilted his up expectantly and Rei indulged him a gentle kiss on the lips. “Now get undressed already.”

“And all this time I thought you were against getting naked,” Nagisa teased with a purr and a light slap on Rei’s bottom.

“Nagisa!”

Nagisa giggled as he dashed off to the showers.

\-----

A loud thump on his door knocked him out of the wonderful dream he’d been having. He groaned and smushed his face into his pillow, hoping the person would go away.

“Hey, Nagisa. You’ve got a visitor.”

No such luck.

“What time is it even? Tell Rei I’m not getting out of bed until at least 11. So he can-”

“It’s not Ryugazki-kun.” Nagisa rolled over and rubbed his eyes.

“What do you mean it’s not Rei? I swear to god if you’re messin’ with me-”

“It’s not him. It’s that guy you used to swim with. Matsuoka-kun.” Nagisa sat up. “Want me to tell him you aren’t getting out of bed? He’s grown up nicely. I’m sure I can find some way to entertain him…” He could hear the smile in his sister’s voice.

“Ugh, Nanako, don’t you dare.” Nagisa checked the time on his phone. 10:17. “Tell him I’ll be out in a minute.” He listened to his sister walk away as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes. What the hell was Rin doing at his house so early on a Sunday anyway? Plodding over to his closet, he considered his options. He pouted when he realized wearing his new skirt was no longer one of them and yanked on his a pair of capris with an embellished butterfly on the back pocket instead. He grabbed a shirt at random and threw it over his shoulder as he made his way into the bathroom to finish getting ready. Nagisa quickly brushed his teeth before pulling a loose, boat neck top over his head. He frowned at his reflection as he ran a brush through his hair, deciding not to bother with styling it now. He hoped he’d be able to change before he left with Rei for the day.

He stalked downstairs with a large yawn. Rin was sitting on the couch, his expression somewhere between annoyance, boredom, and vague embarrassment, as Nanako flirted with him. His eyes lit up slightly when he saw Nagisa. "Hey Nagisa. Sorry for waking you," he rubbed at the back of his neck and looked away from Nagisa. I was hoping to catch you before you left."

"You caught me," Nagisa yawned. "What's up?"

"Can we head to your room for a bit?" Nagisa chewed at his lip. He couldn't remember if he already set out his outfit for the day.

"Can we go for a walk instead?" Rin shrugged.

"Sure. Why not." Nagisa ignored the bemused look his sister shot them.

"Let me get my shoes and phone." Rin nodded and headed over to put his own shoes back on. Nagisa clipped his bangs back atop his head, grabbed a pair of yellow slip-ons, and started a text to his boyfriend.

**Rins ovr. Grabin bkfst @ bakery. Meet me when u can?**

**I can be there in approximately 13 minutes.**

**Awesome. Thnx babycakes.**

**Anytime dearest.**

Nagisa smiled to himself as he headed back downstairs.

\-------

"Rei gonna get jealous if I buy?" Rin teased. Nagisa shrugged.

"Probably not. I make Mako-chan buy me food all the time," he replied, pointing to a strawberry pastry in the case for the employee to plate for him.

"I'm aware. Makoto could be talked into just about anything. He's too damn nice." Nagisa didn't miss the fond smile that crossed Rin's features. "But Rei wasn't staring Makoto down after swim practice. Anyways. Figure I owe you for bothering you so early. I just thought this might go over better if it was just us."

"I told Rei to meet us here," Nagisa confessed guiltily. "Sorry." Rin shrugged.

"I knew it was a risk as soon as you suggested leaving. Just tell your attack dog I ain't out to hurt you. I just wanna talk, and if he interrupts, I swear to god..."

"I shall try my best to remain unobtrusive, but I make no promises," Rei's voice declared from behind the pair. “A blueberry scone please, miss.”

"Fair 'nuff, I s' ppose," Rin conceded. "And how are you this morning, Speedo Glasses?"

"Better now that you're buying my breakfast as well."

"Hey. I never agreed to that." Rei shot him a look daring him to challenge the declaration.  "Ugh. Fine whatever. I don't have time for this. Haru will be pissed if I’m late for lunch.”

“Ooooo, a lunch date?” Nagisa teased

“Lunch with Haru and Makoto,” Rin corrected, taking out his wallet.

“Like I said: lunch date?” Rin blushed slightly.

“You’re messed up, kid.” Nagisa shrugged.

“I’ll grab us a table,” he answered cheerfully and bounded off with purpose. Rin frowned at the blonde.

“I hate when he fakes like everything’s just peachy.” Rei hummed in agreement before placing drink orders for Nagisa and himself.

\-------

Nagisa fiddled with a straw as he waited for the other two boys to join him. He had selected a table as far removed from the other patrons as possible. Fortunately, the cafe wasn’t very crowded, but he still felt very exposed.

“Maybe my bedroom was the safer bet after all,” he muttered forlorn, dropping his head to the table and hiding in his crossed arms.

“Probably,” Rin replied, placing their tray on the table across from Nagisa. “But I imagine there aren’t too many pastries in your room.” Nagisa peered over his forearms at Rin, who was taking a seat across from him. Rin pushed Nagisa's plate in front of him and he mumbled a quick thanks. Rei sat next to him

“So,” Rin began before sipping his smoothie and looking pointedly at Nagisa. Nagisa rolled his drink it between his hands, purposefully avoiding Rin’s gaze.

“So,” Nagisa repeated softly. Rin opened his mouth to say something, but thought better of it and closed it again. Rin looked to Rei instead, with nodded in understanding.

“Nagisa,” Rei began, gently placing a hand on Nagisa’s shoulder, trying to offer comfort in the touch. “Rin’s worried about you." He brushed an errant hair off Nagisa's face. "Your  _friend_  is worried about you," he repeated with a soft smile.

Nagisa nodded mechanically. "Friend," he mumbled to himself. Rin slapped his hands on the table.

"Damn right I'm your friend! And nothing will ever fucking change that!" He reassured with cocky smile. "Besides, I'm pretty sure I couldn't get rid of you if I tried. Look what time happened last time I did?"

Nagisa laughed softly. "I am pretty bad at taking a hint," he agreed demurely.

"Nah, I needed a good kick in the ass. Or punch to the face. Instead I got power of friendshipped so hard, you’d think I was freaking Sailor Moon." Nagisa grinned a bit, fiddling with his drink.

"You  _suuure_  do know your shoujo manga Rin-chan," he teased lightly.

"Finally! This introspective emo shit was startin' to creep me the fuck out." Rin smiled genuinely at Nagisa and grabbed his own drink. "And Sailor Moon is a fucking classic. Gou and I would watch it together." He took a long sip of his drink as Nagisa hummed in agreement.

"You're a good brother," Nagisa said with a soft smile.

"Not always," Rin laughed.  "But I’m trying." After a moment he added. “Friends are a different kind of family, ya know?”

Nagisa nodded. “I know.”

“So...?”

“So…” Nagisa took a deep breath and tried to steel his nerves. “So you see Rin. I, um.”

His hands were shaking. Rei gently took one of his shaking, clenched fists into his hands and brought it to his lips for a reassuring kiss. Rin stayed silent, watching the blonde attentively. Nagisa sighed softly as Rei continued to stroke his hand, silently reminding him that he wasn't in this alone; bringing his boyfriend along was definitely a good idea.

“I’m transgender." Rei squeezed his hand and Nagisa threaded his fingers into Rei’s. “Gender fluid, specifically. Sometimes I dress really girly because I’m feeling really girly. And sometimes I’m feeling masculine and I still dress kinda girly. But mostly I’m just me. Nagisa.” He shifted in his seat and glanced up at Rin. “So, uh. That’s pretty much it. I’m not just a boy and just you and Rei know because it’s kinda an awkward conversation to randomly have.”

Rin stared down at his food. “I am such a fucking asshole,” he grumbled. He looked back up at Nagisa. “I am  _so_  sorry.”

“You don’t have to-”

“I said so many shitty things about your clothes and shit. I never meant anything by it-”

“I know you-.”

“Just let me finish my goddamn train of thought,” Rin snapped. He instantly felt guilty when Nagisa tensed up. “Just. I’m really sorry I teased you about your clothes. It was really insensitive of me. Even if you weren’t trans, I shouldn’t have said shit about it. It’s not like it affects me anyhow. I mean I was just joking but still.” Rin ran a hand through his hair and sighed. “Haru’s right. I suck at teasing.”

Nagisa wasn’t sure what to say. He wasn’t sure how he expected Rin to respond, but he hadn’t expected an apology. Rei nudged him slightly. Oh. He should probably say something.

“You don’t have to apologize. You couldn’t have known,” Nagisa replied softly.

“But still. I’m sorry I was an asshole. And if you ever need someone to take care of some asshole who has a problem with your clothes or gender or sexuality, I swear to god I will fuck them up so hard…”

“That’s really not necessary Rin,” Rei explained quickly.

“No, I guess it’s not,” Rin chuckled. “You’re pretty fucking terrifying when you’re angry.” Rei blushed.

“Is he?” Nagisa cooed with a devious grin. “What exactly happened when you went to visit Rin, hmm?”

“Nothing!” Rei squeaked, causing the other two boys to laugh. Rei sipped his tea forlornly.

“But seriously,” Rin said when the laughter died down. “You’ve got my full support dude. Er. Is it okay if I say that? I mean, like, are you a boy today or-? Fucking shit. Don’t answer that.  That was probably hella rude. I’m sorry Nagisa. I swear I’ll try harder.” Nagisa laughed at Rin’s rambling, freeing his hand from Rei’s grasp to pick up his pastry.

“Dude is fine. And you can ask whatever you want. It’s not like you could have known to research everything like Rei-chan beforehand.” He took a bite of his breakfast. “And I’m feeling girly today.” He ignored the look Rei shot him, but swallowed anyway before continuing. “I was supposed to wear this awesome new skirt today for my date buuuuut...” Nagisa pouted. Rin looked guilty.

“Sorry ma-. Sorry Nagisa.”

“S’okay. I’ll live.”

“We can catch a later show if you would like to change. S-sweetest,” Rei told Nagisa stiffly, glancing around before placing a hesitant kiss on Nagisa’s cheek.  Rin scrunched up his face slightly; pet names just did not sound right coming from Rei.

“Awwwe. You’re so sweet to me babycakies,” Nagisa said beaming.

“Alright, you guys- You two,” he corrected, “Are officially making me sick.” He looked at his watch and chugged the rest of his smoothie. "I'm gonna head over to Haru's. Maybe I can get there before he starts cooking. I  _cannot_  do mackerel again. Every freaking week. I need some goddamn steak or something. "

"Have fun on your date RinRin."

"It's not a date!" He yelled before noticing the other customers staring at them and blushing faintly.

"Whatever you say RinRin," Nagisa said with a grin, before shoving Rei's untouched scone into Rei's mouth. "Please don't tell your Haru-chan and Mako-chan about me. I wanna tell them myself, okay?" He grabbed a sputtering Rei by the arm and yanked him up from the chair. "Let's go Rei-chan. It's gonna take me a while to get all pretty."

"You are always beautiful," he assured, taking Nagisa'a hand into his own. "D-darling."

"Seriously sickening," Rin grumbled.

"Say hi to your boyfriends for us!" Nagisa called cheerfully, dragging Rei to the door.

"I don't have a boyfriend!" Rin called back, quickly gathering their trash and getting the hell out of the restaurant before he died of embarrassment.

**Author's Note:**

> Poor Nagisa will have not one, not two, but _three_ coming out stories. ;o;
> 
> Feel free to hit me up on [tumbr](http://xyliandra.tumblr.com) for additional author's notes, head canons, series theories, and straight up fangirling, or on my [fiction tumblr](http://xyliandra-fics.tumblr.com) if you're down for everything but the fangirling.


End file.
